HOW TO BUILD MUTUAL TRUST?
WRITTEN BY LAU WAI FUN

This pandemic has exposed a crisis of trust among our own people. This pandemic further aggravates the abyss of mis-trust. The world will be much better if we genuinely share positive thinking to overcome our common problems at hand.

Please spare some time to read the attached article and the Two Main Elements on Building Mutual Trust.

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Last week, our club invited the Malaysia basketball stars to post a photo on the same day to demonstrate our solidarity towards fighting the current corona-virus, and to enable our Malaysia basketball players to share our positive vibes even outside the basketball court. Although it was done at the last minute, this initiative received great support from most players, from different basketball teams. Together, we demonstrated our team-spirit, and promoted our Malaysia Basketball vision to fellow members like Taiwan, Hong Kong, Philippines, Thailand and Indonesia. The positive energy and comradeship were evidently enhanced.

This pandemic has exposed a crisis of trust among our own people. For instance, during the Movement Control Order periods, some old folks are bored staying at home, and resort to sneaking out, much against the good advises from their family members. Some employees harbor a bad feeling that their boss is scheming to sack or force them to take unpaid leaves. On a bigger scale, mutual trust between the people and the government proves to be extremely  low. No matter what measures are taken by the government, there is always some people who would complain and refuse to cooperate. Even between countries, there is a conflict of interest. When China offers medical assistance to other countries in need, their assistance is not well received. This pandemic further aggravates the abyss of mis-trust.

I agree with the old sayings that we have to be cautious when dealing with people and have to be careful with some certain people. In some relationships, we have more or less ascertained which party is trust worthy and can work together. In certain relationships, perhaps we simply have no choice but to cooperate. In these inevitable circumstances, the world will be much better if we genuinely share positive thinking to overcome our common problems at hand.

Two Main Elements on Building Mutual Trust

1. Good Communication 

Every resilient relationship is sustained on the basis of having a common goal. For one example, the people and the government treat this pandemic as a common challenge to be overcome together. Or a couple shares a vision of building a lovely family together. Or employer and employees work hard together to build a sustainable enterprise. Particularly in a basketball team, coaches and players train and play to win together. Teachers and parents wish the best for the children. Succinctly, maintaining a good communication can strengthen this resilient relationship. Thus, unnecessary mis-understanding due to lack of information can be avoided. A good communication necessarily needs to be both-ways. Mutual trust has to be two-ways also. Each person in a resilient relationship must work hard to maintain and to achieve the common goal together. It is like our ministers updating us about the pandemic situation daily, and the people can provide their opinion electronically. Likewise, coach and players normally meet and discuss their performance after a training or a game. During the communication process, everyone freely shares one’s thoughts. We should respect everyone’s stand and uniqueness, at least not to look down and simply reject their right to speak, because that person is young, or lacks academic education. In this situation, the person, who is being ignored, will feel unwanted and then reduce one’s trust in the common endeavor.

Even a sage could make a mistake, so it is natural for someone to make a mistake. This is the time that would cause misunderstanding. If the misunderstanding is not cleared timely, it will destroy the team spirit eventually. After a mistake has been made, a chance to explain or rectify should be given. It is prudent for the party at fault to do so, without hiding any pertinent facts or giving excuses. Otherwise, the mutual trust can be easily spoil. If that person has explained clearly and sincerely apologized, we should learn to accept and forgive, even with good reason to be angry.

2. Good Personality

It is prudent that we should always behave ourselves in a social setting. It is important not to comment or prejudge another person’s behaviour, as each one of us grows up with a different family background. Our ability, opportunity and social position are not equal. In some social settings, one does not have a choice to pick. Truly, our own family background is totally out of our choice. For an instance, when someone may have pulled strings and ended up occupying a high post in a complany but lacking the necessary capability. Or a coach may select a player who is not your favourite as a team member. A person with great ability can easily do the following, not afraid of being taken advantage of; do not moan or do not pick on others; avoid saying negative comments, or throw emotions on others by stepping down at them; always be understanding and use positive energy to influence others. Firstly, it is critical not to compare yourself with another ”better” person, otherwise you would be persuaded to give up, or to usurp other’s effort or victory, or to back stab others in order to glorify yourself. The victim who is ”better” will never want to trust you and work with you again. Secondly, you should not compare yourself with another ‘less capable” person, and feel falsely ‘superior”. This false feeling may boost your ego temporarily, but ultimately will defeat mutual trust or future teamwork with others.

A mature man (regardless of his age) shall has sufficient empathy, and is able to imagine another person’s predicament. For one instance, this corona-virus pandemic is totally new and unexpected. There are a lot of issues to be considered by the government. Even the parents locked down at home have difficulties in taking care of their kinds and working from home at the same time. And the SME owners have big headache keeping their staff and paying them. And the teachers have reverted to online teaching, to make sure that the school kids learning progress is not affected by the MCOs. Doing something is often far more difficult than mere thinking. It is of good personality to be able to think from other’s point of view, and appreciate the effort and contribution made by others. As a member of a fraternity, we should give our fullest support, in order to improve our mutual trust level.

LAU WAI FUN

B.S PHYSICAL EDUCATION, HUAQIAO UNIVERSITY

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